The Mildewey Decimal System

The Wet Mildew.

Living in Hong Kong means humidity, and that means taking control of the air in the flat, lest the evil spore take root and begin its creeping spread over your belongings.

It's a never-ending battle, particularly during Spring, when the temperature climbs and the humidity soars well above 90%. In those conditions, everything becomes damp—a perfect breeding ground for mildew.

Peak mildew season begins the instant stores roll out their displays of dehumidifiers—both chemical and appliances.

At that time you'll notice an increase in the numbers of people emanating the musty malodour of clothing not dried right—most often produced by hanging clothes to dry in a moist bathroom; a practice that in itself defies logic. Why don't they notice the awful stink? This phenomenon baffles me.

The increase serves a purpose, however. Based on a weekly average of the numbers of people one encounters emitting the ghastly stench, one can determine the severity of the mildew season.

I've dubbed this method the Mildewey Decimal System.

The system isn't complex; it's more of a ratings game. For example, if you catch a whiff of mildew off but one person during the week, your average is low—only 0.143.

But if you're running into the repulsive reek several times a day, you'd hit an astounding 3.429, which indicates the season is in full swing.

The system is flexible enough that you can assign to it your personal tolerance levels, and further customise it based on your experiences. You may work in an office where standards of hygiene are higher. You may use the MTR daily, where forced proximity with strangers leads to many unpleasant olfactory interactions.

Once you've tailored it to your lifestyle, the Mildewey Decimal System will provide a more accurate picture of the strength of the mildew problem, allowing you a fighting chance to subdue the spore!

Remember, only you can stop mildew!