Notes » November 2009

Cream Dream

From time to time I hear some folks say that Hong Kong is not that strange a place to live.

Oh, how I beg to differ.

Were it not, there would be no reason that I could purchase Irish Cream-flavoured whole coffee beans, yet not locate a simple carton of coffee cream or half-and-half. Oh sure, I did find one so-called upscale grocery outlet that had precisely one brand of half-and-half, but wanted an extortionate amount for a measly 500ml carton (somewhere near US$5, if memory serves). I don't like cream that much.

But here's the thing: to my knowledge none of the other upscale shops carry it either, despite that many of them cater to foreigners. There may be one or two on Hong Kong Island, but I have yet to find them; and even if I did, what good would it do? We live in the boonies.

That leaves me with two options: Coffee Mate or non-dairy creamers (both of which are outright poisons, as far as I'm concerned), or full-cream milk. Yep, you read that right: Hong Kong grocery stores carry several brands of full-cream milk from which to choose.

Now I'm not a big fan of milk to begin with; I don't even like skim milk, so you can imagine that full-cream milk, even just a little in my coffee, took some getting used to. Half-and-half is sublime, full-cream milk is over the top: it's like being hit on the head with a mallet when all I asked for was to have my temples massaged.

Still, full-cream milk is better than nothing (yeah, I'm a coffee wimp, shut up). In case you're wondering, yes, I tried soy milk and it was fine (it adds a nice nutty flavor), except that acidic coffees make it separate; it looks like curdled milk and that's just gross. And remember, this is Hong Kong: try asking someone about the acidity level in various coffee beans, you'll draw a blank stare. It'll make you weep, it will.

Therefore full-cream milk it is. I've learned that I need to back off and not make the coffee as light as it would be with half-and-half, or the cream will gag me. I've also discovered that Irish Cream-flavoured beans go rather well with the milk, although to be honest I'd much prefer actual Irish Cream.

Perhaps then I wouldn't care about the appalling paucity of proper coffee cream in this weird, weird, town.

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