Little Emperor Syndrome

Spend any time in Hong Kong and you'll notice a disturbing practice: adults fawning over their child.

It's called Little Emperor Syndrome, otherwise known as spoiled brat syndrome. Also common in Beijing and Shanghai, perhaps even more so under China's "one child" policy, kids have become the center of the universe.

Signs of Little Emperor Syndrome include excessive pampering, failure to discipline an unruly urchin, carrying (or more likely having the domestic helper carry) backpacks or school books, allowing the enfant terrible to order the domestic helper around, giving the kid a seat on a train or bus ahead of an elderly person who could really use it, interceding in all conflicts, and so on.

With so many adult relatives catering to the brat's child's needs, he has little to do but play games and eat, which is why more and more kids are becoming morbidly obese. As teenagers, they often find themselves lacking confidence and unable to cope with problems, thus failing a test or breaking up is reason enough for taking an air walk.

In Western cultures this situation is often described as "spare the rod, spoil the child". In Cantonese slang the expression is more direct: daa dak siu (打得少), literally beat get little, which most Hong Kongers understand as "you haven't been beaten enough" (although these days mothers say it less and less for concern that someone will think she subjects her offspring to actual physical abuse).

I'm not advocating violence, but it would be refreshing to see someone teach his kid about the concepts of self-reliance and responsibility.

Why have so many Hong Kongers abandoned the Confucian ideal of filial piety (the first virtue in Chinese culture; to show love and respect for one's parents and ancestors) in favour of Little Emperor Syndrome?

Fear.

Fear of growing older and being ignored by children who resent them for having had the temerity to lay down rules, or Heaven forbid, say "no" to a petulant demand. The irony is that caving in to every whim results in an insolent, asocial twerp who will ignore his parents regardless.

There may be something to daa dak siu after all.

Older Posts · 早前 |