Suffering Fools

A friend of mine told me I'm not the type to suffer fools gladly.

When it comes to banking he couldn't be more correct.

Consider HSBC: in a bid to make its ATMs more efficient, the bank deleted all deposit functions, opting for dedicated machines in most of its branches. The problem is it didn't install enough of them. Replacing several deposit-capable ATMs with one machine for cash (or if you're lucky, two) and one machine for cheques is classic banker thinking. Instead of standing in a long queue to see a teller, we now get to stand in an even slower-moving line.

Why? Because technology and morons don't mix.

People incapable of absorbing the information displayed on machine screens take ages to make decisions or become confused, often cancelling the transaction and starting over. Some folks fail to realise that they can deposit a stack of up to 30 banknotes in one go (and let the machine sort them out); instead they feed in each note one by one, which causes the machine to pause, reset, and then display the running total.

The cheque machine is worse, because cheques must be orientated face up with the signature to the right. I've watched mouth-breathers insert a cheque only to have the machine spit it back out because they didn't follow protocol. Cheque machines also accept multiple cheques at once, but most people I've observed haven't grasped that concept. With ATMs, all we had to do was input the deposit total, insert the cash or cheques into an envelope, and run it into the slot: it was so much quicker and easier, even for the soft-headed.

Understand that I'm not talking about elderly folks (some of whom are intimidated by machines); most Hong Kong seniors prefer to deal with the teller anyway. The simpletons in question are just people who can't be bothered to read directions, thus gumming up the works for everyone else. Aggravation levels further increase when the I see the branch manager stroll past an enormous queue, oblivious to the gaping expanse that could accommodate another machine; but then, one could argue that an extra unit would only attract more nitwits.

So yes, I don't suffer fools gladly, especially ones who make things far more difficult than they have to be.

If you're a Hong Kong banker, that means you.

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