HSBCannot

Regular readers know how much I hate banks.

This letter to the editor is a study in the frustration that HSBC heaps upon potential customers:

The other day I was with an Italian friend as he tried to open a Hong Kong account at the bank that likes to bill itself as "the world's local bank" (and then sulks when people publicly point out that it is a hapless institution).

In spite of the fact that I've caught them numerous times dipping into my account for arbitrary, unwarranted fees which, when spotted, they then have to sheepishly give back, I still took him in. He had a passport and Italian ID card, which unlike our identity cards, records one's address.

"Ah," they said, desperately thinking of a way to avoid work, "living in Italy is fine but we can't use this proof of identity, because it says the word 'via' instead of 'street'."

"Via" is the Italian word for street. Why would it use the English word on an Italian ID card?

"The rule book says the proof of address has to be in English."

So all Italian street names, and Italian ID cards should be written in English - just for you, because you can't translate the word "via"?

"The rule book says we cannot [accept it]."

The clerk disappeared into the rear office, presumably to find a manager, who remained well out of sight upon the clerk's return. Could we get a notarised translation?

"Cannot."

Could we go to a bookshop and buy you an Italian-English dictionary?

"Cannot."

What we could do, and what they wanted us to do, was leave. Of course, they apologised for any inconvenience caused. In mitigation, when one quizzes them on their "world's local bank" slogan, they quietly admit that all their global operations run independently without the slightest attempt at synergy.

SIMON OSBORNE, Sheung Wan

Dude, I feel your pain.

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