Door Knobs

Because of an increase in morons getting trapped in closing train doors, the MTR is changing its operating procedures.

Instead of a timed delay between the closing of train and platform safety doors, both doors will be synchronised to close at once. In addition, an extended audible alert is being tested to determine if it will help reduce rushing incidents.

The crowning touch will be a nanny ad on TV with the slogan "Smart passengers always stop when they hear the door chimes".

But as eight of 10 Hong Kongers are gamblers, one can guarantee there will be a few dumb passengers who won't.

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