Horrid Habits

Hghghghghaaaaawwccckkk!

Thar she blows, I think after my mother-in-law gets out of bed and tunes up her phlegm.

Living with an aging Chinese woman is no picnic, not with her bundle of exasperating habits.

Imagine a woman who clears her throat and spits all day long. Normal people don't hawk up loogies for five minutes after they wake.

Imagine a woman whose idea of cleaning consists of tap water because she doesn't like the smell of cleaning products. Don't even ask what her bathtub looks like; you don't want to know.

Imagine a woman who's first act upon entering the kitchen is to add hot water to a cup of cool water, then swish and gob into the sink numerous times. Gee, that's sanitary. If she gets bird flu, we're all dead.

Imagine a woman who talks to herself non-stop: while watching TV, cooking, and even in the bathroom; many times I've overheard her having an entire conversation with herself while she was in the shower.

Imagine a woman prefers sitting in a roasting living room with the windows open and cooling herself with a bamboo fan, which she whaps against the sofa cushion to no end, when the air conditioner could regulate the temperature to her liking.

I haven't complained about any of these irritants because I don't want to hurt her feelings. She's not a bad person, she's just stuck in her ways, like many folks who grew up with certain beliefs and won't change.

Plenty of Hong Kongers are the same way, which is why you'll often hear people playing the mucous melody in the streets.

Old habits die hard, but the habits of old Chinese women never will.

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