Grave Offense

Proving that criminal masterminds are few and far between, an as yet unidentified halfwit stole three urns from a cemetery and left a ransom note demanding that $50,000 be deposited into a bank account.

Even if the relatives pay up, how's he going to get the cash without being pinched? Furthermore, the superstitious believe grave robbery incurs the wrath of the dead:

"The thief and at least three generations of his family will suffer from very bad luck."

"His offspring will be born with disabilities or strange and incurable diseases and they might also be troubled by the spirits."

"His family will suffer from a lot of health problems."

"If he is a gambler, he will lose all his fortune."

"Disturbing the dead is a very disrespectful act in Chinese tradition. It is even worse than begging."

All that, plus jail time when he gets caught.

Man, that guy's screwed.

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