Langham Place

Never go to a brand new mall the weekend it opens for business.

It felt as though half the population of Hong Kong turned up.

Of 13 levels, nine are confined; six of the nine are called The Spiral: a zig-zagging set of ramps connected at the ends by staircases with tiny steps. Even my wife found the steps too narrow. It won't be long before someone misses a step and breaks a bone or two in the ensuing tumble.

Given the structure of The Spiral, I remarked that sooner or later, someone will choose it as the perfect launch pad for a messy, public suicide.

The design is so wonky, the mall was fitted with two elongated escalators (called Xpresscalators, how cute) connecting the Grand Atrium to the Cinema level and the top of The Spiral.

According to the directory, many of the shops are available in every other mall in the territory.

Regardless, Langham Place is a perfect match with Mong Kok: it's crowded, cramped and commercial.

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