That Pinched Look, Explained

I can't make this stuff up.

The University of Hong Kong and the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, both having little else to do, did a study where it found about one million people in the SAR are constipated.

View large image No wonder people don't smile. That's a lot of clenched buttocks, which explains that pinched look.

It must be a result of the ongoing problems in Hong Kong: sluggish economy, devalued property, poor leadership, SARS, potential bird-flu outbreak, and so on. It adds up to a sphincter factor of 9.5 out of 10.

With 14.3% of the population suffering from constipation, Hong Kong is catching up with North America, which is at 20%. The pucker is more pronounced in Canada and the United States, because of the additional burden of the War on Terra and the lousy diet.

But I digress. The study found that only a quarter of those that were aware they were constipated took time to visit a doctor. No one wants to spend $250 to hear the doctor pull out that old poop about regularity.

Researchers added:

Constipation impairs the quality of life of many Hong Kong people.

Constipation sufferers experience higher levels of anxiety and depression which in turn affects their social lives.

Yet they save money on bathroom tissue.

Researchers warned against the negative side-effects of relying on laxatives, while failing to mention the most obvious cure: eat more fibre and drink more water.

The study did succeed in one major goal: the embarrassing truth is out in the open. Poor, plugged-up Hong Kongers can get serious about this health issue.

I ought to buy stock in Metamucil.

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