The Height Machine

I used to think infomercials in Canada were bad, until I saw the ad for the amazing Hua Jia Height Machine.

Aimed at those who feel they're short, this machine claims to increase a person's height.

The contraption is a platform upon which the sucker consumer lies. After first securing the feet, the victim person then pulls a strap under his chin. Once firmly in place, he turns a side-mounted hand crank, putting tension on the strap, which stretches the spine.

It's a modern-day version of the rack.

The testimonials are hilarious, in that the announcer never stops talking, and the before-and-after comparisons not only make the person appear taller, but larger. It's incredible what one can do with a zoom lens.

The manufacturers claim one person grew 13 centimetres in only 20 days. That's more than five inches.

What's the use of being taller if you're forced to spend the rest of your life in traction?

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