Dear Americans

A Letter To Citizens of the United States

Dear Americans,

What I'm about to say doesn't apply to all of you; I know some possess a good grasp of geography, but it's time to clarify a few facts:

1. I'm not American. I'm Canadian. Calling me American is the same as equating the British with Australians. They're not the same people. Neither are we.

2. No, I don't have anything against Americans. Some of my best friends are Americans. I like to tease you, but that doesn't mean I don't like you.

3. My wife is not Japanese. She doesn't look Japanese.

4. Hong Kong is not Japan. Buy an atlas.

5. Hong Kong is not in Japan. Learn how to use the atlas.

6. I'm not picking on you, but I've never heard a Canadian, or anyone else for that matter, say that Hong Kong is in Japan.

To set the record straight, Hong Kong is in Slovenia.

Okay, bad joke. It's in China. C-H-I-N-A. As in: The People's Republic of.

We're known as Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, or HKSAR. Some have written it as Special Autonomous Region, but that too is erroneous.

7. SAR is not the same as SARS. That joke went out the window 30 seconds after the disease got its official name. Give it a rest.

That is all. Thank you for your attention.

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