Notes » October 2003

The Ladies Oriental Shrine of the Bio Energy Bra

Hong Kong is the city of bras.

Every possible variation is touted in every locale: push-up, padded, gel or silicone-filled, liquid-filled, air-cushioned, under-wire, strapless, sport, contour, frilly, lacy, leather. One cannot walk through an MTR station and not be accosted by underwear ads.

A brand called Triumph claims their new Bio Energy Cosmetic Bra will warm a woman's breasts by one degree celsius. They call the material "Masonic N Fibre."

Masonic? They must have some interesting lodge meetings.

It "contains microscopic ceramic particles that stimulate blood circulation in the breasts and allows it to 'emit 8 per cent more high-spectrum infrared rays than normal fabric'."

It emits light we can't see; were I a woman, I wouldn't want to wear a garment that appeals to pit vipers. Or mosquitoes. And why heat the breasts anyway? Most women think bras are too hot and confining as it is.

The bra is purported to have a moisturising effect, as the lining contains aloe vera and algae. That'll last until it gets washed. And algae; the slimy green stuff that grows on the interior of fish tanks? No thanks.

The company's spokesman admitted the wearer won't feel or see any substantial difference but:

we market the products based on comfort and sensuality, not scientific results.

In other words, they can claim anything they want, but don't have to back it up with any evidence.

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