Sour Grapes

A flood of e-mail has arrived since the CNN piece aired.

Most of it has been complimentary; to those who have written kind words, I give you my thanks. I appreciate it; it's nice to know people enjoy the site. The interview doesn't make me famous or a celebrity; it was a fun exercise, but it'll be forgotten in 30 seconds.

A few petty killjoys felt compelled to try to knock me down a peg. Hey guys, CNN called me, not the other way around. Some of the comments I've read amount to nothing more than sour grapes. For crying out loud, folks, it's the Internet. Get out of your mothers' basements.

For the benefit of those who weren't listening: I don't expect to please everyone. It's impossible. The site can't be all things to all people: some will like it and some won't. If you don't, that's fine. Don't go away mad, just go away.

Before I get into the one e-mail that annoyed me, I'll address two others. One was sarcasm; the other was ugly.

In the first message, a fellow wrote (in the subject line of the e-mail):

Don't worry, you did come across as a big huge dork...

That was followed by the continuation of his thought:

But the CNN correspondent who did Tai Chi with you mid-interview overshadowed your dorkiness in a huge way.

Kristie will be pleased to hear that. But that's cool, if someone thinks I'm dorky, that's their right. I don't have a problem with that. Hell, sometimes I am dorky.

The second e-mail was irritating. It was a one-line question to which I didn't even bother replying:

Do they really eat fried lice in Hong Kong?

Yes, I know. I can hear you groaning from here.

The prize winner in offensive e-mail was staggering in its assumptions and accusations. It fascinates me that people with problems believe they can lecture me when they don't even know me. For fun, and because I can, I'll dissect it. It's more fun than losing my temper.

Subject Line:

I'm not being an ass here, but ...

Body:

Indulge me if you will.

Making a claim and then contradicting it isn't the best way to begin. At first I thought the guy was trying to be ironic.

Why is it that almost every white guy who moves to Asia thinks he's some kind of pioneer?

That's pretty presumptuous, fella. I never claimed to be a pioneer of anything. If I write about something new to me, chances are it may be new to someone else.

Everything you're doing and thinking has been done a million times before by other 'big' white guys in Asia long, long before you.

How do you know what I'm doing and thinking? Are you working for the Bush administration? Oh, sorry. What was your point? Oh yes ... millions (nice hyperbole) of times, yes. Well, they didn't have the Internet, and I do. Neener neener.

Why oh why you've gained some notoriety is beyond me, but maybe it can be explained by the media's need for and publics [sic] want of the mundane in different packaging.

Strange foods? Funny people in parks? Annoying bureaucrats? Funny TV shows? How original, how newsworthy. Yawn. Oooh, but its [sic] in Hong Kong ...

Have you eaten a hamburger from any place else than McDonald's? Must be your need for the mundane in different packaging. You tried to insult me back-handed, but you disrespected all the other visitors. How refreshing it must be to know the world-weary You is superior to the rest of us, the great unwashed masses.

You're an English 'tutor' in Hong Kong. Is that anything like an ESL teacher? Like the thousand [sic] others?

Well, let's see ... I have one adult student that I work with twice per week. He's a good student and resolute. Holy crap! I am a tutor. Who knew? But I'm no ESL teacher. That'd be too much like work. You made an erroneous assumption.

No, you're a writer. That's why you live in Asia, because the market for your high quality English language writing is so much greater here. Yes, we all know those in Hong Kong have a much greater appreciation of the subtleties of the English language than say, those in New York or London. (!)

More incorrect conjecture. One more strike and you get to hit the showers. I live in Hong Kong because my lovely bride wanted to move back home after spending years in Canada. But thanks to notice the goodly quality of English into this site, I trying very hard to properly.

That you're a human doing what you want and being fulfilled in life is wonderful and I applaud your success, toast your health and wish you all the best. Sincerely.

I'm sorry, but it's hard to accept a pat on the back from a guy who's just spent the past five minutes knifing me in it.

But come back to earth [sic].

I never left Earth. That was the taikonaut from China, and he's been back for awhile. Where've you been, under a rock?

You're just another gwailo, another Westerner enamoured with Asian fetishism ...

I'm bored as Hell with having to explain the definition of the word fetish to cretins who bandy it about like scandalmongers at a bake sale. Go buy a dictionary.

... a white guy who maybe thinks he's a little special because that's how the locals treat him ...

No one treats me all that special. In fact, no one ever wants to sit next to me on the bus. It's heartbreaking. Snif. These people are cruel, I tell you!

... a guy who likes to write mediocre pabulum verse and throw it up on the web for the world to see.

Funny, I don't remember writing any poetry. I did have some fun changing the lyrics of a couple of songs a while back. They were mediocre, but if Weird Al Yankovic can do it, then dammit, so can I!

You've turned yourself into an icon. A stylized logo. A product. You are the BWG. But you're just another guy.

Please man, I'm not the Pope. And the logo? That was for fun. Fun. Remember fun?

I shudder because we are so similar; I'm a fellow writer, webmaster, blogger, fan of Asia, traveller, and Canadian soon to be living in Asia. But the way you've represented yourself is a bright warning, something I will strive to avoid becoming.

Sorry to be disagreeable, but we are dissimilar. It's funny how you're a fan of Asia, but I'm the one with the fetish. I agree with you on one thing: whatever you do, make sure you never become like me. God knows what you'd do with a sense of humour.

Are you unique because you're Big, White, or a Guy?

Um ... is there a Door # 4, Monty?

Ask yourself, would your Blog have ANY success if you moved back to Edmonton and ran it from there with Edmonton content?

Who can say, since I have no intention of moving back?

If the answer is no, then your writing is essentially nothing and amounts to colour commentary without even a unique perspective.

Interesting, I was thinking the same thing about your e-mail.

Are you Hong Kong, or are you just another white guy in Hong Kong?

Yes, I'm Hong Kong! The Vanquisher of Godzilla! The Destroyer of Cities! And now I'm off to do battle with the great Mothra!

I repeat, that you're a human doing what you want and being fulfilled in life is wonderful and I applaud your success, toast your health, and wish you all the best.

I didn't buy it the first time; why repeat yourself?

And you were wrong about one other thing.

You were an ass.

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