You There! Stop!

Hong Kong-made films are a kick when they have gwai louh actors in them.

These guys are more wooden than a totem pole, and their voices sound pinched, as though their underwear were too tight. The dialogue is awful, because it's dubbed after the shoot. Even if the editors synchronise it with the actors' lips, the tonal quality is off.

This is what happens when they don't have the budget to hire real actors. It doesn't help matters that the dialogue blows monkey chunks. Most of it runs like this:

· You there! Stop!

· Let me take care of him!

· I'll teach you a lesson!

Despite its tendency to make you roll your eyes, there's a certain campiness which makes it pure comedy. Is this how Westerners sound to the Chinese?

As a test, I should go to the mall and yell out: You there! Stop!

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