Qoo Qoo Gajoob

View large image Hong Kongers are suckers for cute mascots.

One of the newer ones, with a huge subculture built around it, is known as Qoo, pronounced koo.

What is Qoo? It's a children's juice, allegedly rich in vitamins, and comes in various flavours. The mascot's backstory is weirdness itself:

· Sex: No one knows. It's androgynous.

· Family: Its origins are unknown, but it's thought to be one of a kind.

· Age: A child. Rumoured to be between 7 to 10 years old.

· Characteristics: Monosyllabic; can only say "Qoo!" Its cheeks inflate whenever it drinks Qoo.

· Special Ability: Dancing.

· Likes: Qoo, baths, friendly children and tasty drinks.

· Dislikes: Bullies.

· Character: Thinks like an adult. Is optimistic and easily elated. Relaxed, a little sensitive and a bit of a narcissist.

· Favourite pose: Left hand filling a cup to the brim with Qoo, right hand resting gently on hip, head tilted skywards drinking the cup of Qoo and expressing delight by saying "Qoo"!

This is what happens when marketers drop acid while working: they create a puffy blue hermaphroditic-yet-sexless child with a one-word vocabulary that spends its time either getting happy or marketing sweet drinks to children. People eat it up drink it in.

This mascot was beseiged by people wanting it to pose with their children for photographs, while assistants handed out free samples of Qoo. It was 32C. I hope the guy in the suit was well-hydrated, because I did the mascot thing once and I know how hot it gets in there. Was part of the job getting free all-you-can-drink Qoo?

This may seem strange if you've never heard of Qoo, but then, you aren't living in a society where people queue for six hours to get the latest Hello Kitty doll sets from McDonalds.

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