Me Tarzan, You Jane

Marie Claire Hong Kong has been interviewing Western men in Lan Kwai Fong on what they like about Chinese women, for a piece to be published in the June edition.

Their first mistake was Lan Kwai Fong. Along with the girlie bars in Wan Chai, it's hardly the place to get a balanced viewpoint.

The question paints everyone with the same brush, Chinese and Westerners, fostering ignorance rather than enlightening or educating.

Consider some of the positive comments from the interviews, followed by my remarks:

Chinese girls are conservative on the outside, but in bed they are radical.

· Conservative? That's a stereotype. The modern Hong Kong woman is as varied as her Western counterparts. Thanks for perpetuating another stupid myth; calling her radical in bed succeeds in bringing to Hong Kong more of the expatriate I despise: the sexual predator whose only goal is to sleep with as many Asian women as possible.

I just love their boutique size. My Chinese girlfriend makes me feel 10 feet tall.

· For Pete's sake, man, she's not a handbag. What does being Chinese have to do with it? Petite women can be found around the world. Are you threatened by women of equal stature, or are you suffering from low self-esteem?

Aging isn't a problem for Chinese women. They've got all these cosmetic and skincare products, and they know how to use them.

· News flash: Chinese women age, as do all women. You ought to take a moment to look beyond the surface. Many women hate being regarded only for their looks.

Chinese girls are just so much more straightforward than Western women. They are committed without being petty, ie my girlfriend doesn't mind me watching football with the boys.

· Give me a break. That has nothing to do with the Chinese and everything to do with attitude. In any relationship, there has to be some give and take. Tell me something, bucko, do you mind her spending time doing things she likes, or are you one of those bozos who believes Chinese women are submissive, or that they should be?

They are skinny and cute.

· That's deep. Puppies are skinny and cute too. Have you anything more substantial to offer, or is that the limit of your ability to express yourself?

They know the rules of love affairs - which is to follow wherever your man goes.

· Neanderthal. You're a real catch. Women must be lining up to be with you. Why don't you take your low-forehead, knuckle-dragging mentality back to whatever cave you crawled from and stay there?

Maybe all Western men look the same to them. Or maybe they just don't care. Because, let's face it, an ugly guy like me would never get such a beautiful girlfriend back in the USA.

· In a word: pathetic. Plenty of men with average looks in North America have beautiful partners. It's about attitude. It's about confidence. It's about having something to offer that supercedes shallow considerations.

One other thing: we don't all look the same to the Chinese, just as all Chinese don't look the same.

Anyone who says otherwise isn't paying attention.

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