Can't Sing, Can't Dance, Can Act A Little

Can't act either.

Every time I step into an HMV outlet, I can't find the music I want, because more than 50% of the store is devoted to Cantopop, Japanese and Filipino music. Add racks and racks of VCDs and DVDs to that, and finding the latest disc by The Tragically Hip is going to be difficult.

Cantopop is a blend of up-tempo dance tracks and vapid, sentimental love songs recorded in Cantonese, with some songs braving a few words in English, Mandarin, or Japanese.

The problem with Hong Kong's Cantopop stars is few have any real singing ability. The same argument could be made for some acts in North America; I won't belabour the point. But compared with the sheer volume of talent in Canada and the US, the ratio is way off.

I've seen and heard these people on Hong Kong's idea of quality television: overblown song and dance numbers which border on the ridiculous. The tuneless, off-key warbling that emanates from my mother-in-law's television set is cringe-inducing.

Most Hong Kong singers appear in local films. The problem is most can't act. The reverse is also true: many Hong Kong actors often become singers, yet they can't sing. But it all sells well; 98% of 6.8 million in Hong Kong are ethnic Chinese that speak Cantonese.

If this sounds familiar, think Elvis. The man could sing, but we all know what happened when he tried to act.

Tom Cruise can act. But for the love of all that's pure, don't allow him near a recording studio.

Hong Kong does have talent. Jackie Cheung (張學友) and Anita Mui (梅豔芳) are good singers. Jackie Chan (成龍) and Chow Yun-fat (周潤發) are good actors. It's too bad that the image-makers are intent on pushing people beyond the limits of their talent to make a buck.

I'm grateful for the Internet: an oasis in the midst of this barren musical wasteland.

As for the new Tragically Hip CD, I'll have my brother mail it.

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